Thoughts - Gigli (2003)

11/18/13: First thing's first... Gigli isn't as bad as you've heard. It's an almost absolute misfire, a fact which was adversely compounded by a heaping load of negative hype. Even a good film didn't stand a chance with the buzz that this bad one received, though wording it like that makes it seem as though the film is completely innocent, when in reality it was very much complicit in its own inevitable demise. It didn't so much receive its negative buzz as it generated it, emanated it, even, with its stupid-ass smug title with the confusing pronunciation that they surely thought was clever and interesting, and the casting of then-it-couple Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez that was supposed to be so cute. The fact that the promotion of Gigli and its resulting coverage gave rise to the celebrity portmanteau, and potential audiences were subjected to the term "Bennifer" is alone reason to revile the film and revolt against it.

So... How is the actual film, ten years removed from all of the hype? It's still pretty bad, but tolerable most of the time. It's totally understandable that it seemed like a good idea, on paper: written and directed by Martin Brest, it follows in a similar vein as Midnight Run or Scent of a Woman, aiming to be a tale of quirky criminals falling for each other through a series of overly verbose battles of wits. Unfortunately Brest misjudges the likability of his characters, who are as smug as the film's title and, like the film itself, lack a modicum of self-awareness which might have made them, and it, interesting. So their loquacious bouts become exhausting rather than endearing. Oh, and it probably doesn't help that the plot centers around them kidnapping and holding for ransom a retarded kid who thinks they're taking him to the Baywatch set and loves to sing Baby Got Back, something the filmmakers obviously thought was so painfully funny that they couldn't resist throwing the audio of which in over the end credits.

And yet there's still a faint charm to Gigli... It's ill-conceived and poorly executed, but its intentions are so well-meaning; it really does think it's being nice and sweet when Affleck's self-proclaimed "Sultan of Slick... Rule of fuckin' cool... Fuckin' original, straight-first-foremost, pimp-mack, fuckin hustler, original gangster's gangster!"shows Justin Bartha's Sir Mix a Lot-loving retarded kid how to sweet-talk ladies. And when they do happen upon the Baywatch set, and Affleck watches from a distance as Bartha wanders his way into the scene and chats up a model, his smile of approval is so genuine it almost makes you almost want to share in his, and the film's, self-satisfaction. *1/2

Quick Thoughts - Stoker (2013)

11/17/13: Stoker's deliberately enigmatic tone is at once its greatest asset and its most frustrating one. Chan-wook Park's film is like a parlor trick: perplexing and fun... Until it's not. The pace is slow, the visuals are meticulously composed, making the audience puzzle over every line of dialogue and curious facial expression, and it's all good fun until the gradual realization that there's not enough here for a truly compelling film finally lands, and you walk away without much to think over and savor other than how good a director Park really is that he had you going for so long almost entirely on smoke and mirrors. It's a misstep when considering that this man delivered us Oldboy and Thirst, but no less a showcase of his talent. At worst, it's an interesting failure. **1/2

Quick Thoughts - Erik the Viking (1989)

11/17/13: Erik the Viking feels like the Monty Python equivalent of an SNL film, material enough for a great sketch, maybe even a series of sketches, but stretched far too thin at feature length. It's occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, which is more than I can say for most SNL productions. And even in its duller stretches, Python silliness seeps its way in for some ephemeral chuckles, and any Terry Jones film is good for some great homemade effects to liven things up. **1/2

Quick Thoughts - The Adventures of Buckaroo Bonzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

11/16/13: I'm not sure how much of this film I actually understood, or how much I was even supposed to understand. Buckaroo Bonzai is a famous surgeon who is also a stunt man, who also headlines a rock band, who finds himself busting out his dead wife's doppelganger from prison after she tries to kill him. From there he gets tangled in an interplanetary conflict with aliens from another dimension, which the film somehow ties to Orson Welles' presentation of War of the Worlds. The manic absurdity is nearly kept in check by absolute committal by its oddly respectable cast and sincere filmmaking form director W.D. Richter. It's leagues beyond convoluted, and would be total garbage if it weren't so beautifully trashy... In other words, it's Grade A cult material. **1/2

Quick Thoughts - Superman Returns (2006)

11/16/13: Bryan Singer's take on Superman should be held up as a model for how to put superheroes on the screen. It hits every note with equal measures of humor and grace, even in its action-filled third act. Singer develops both sides of his quote/unquote tortured hero beautifully, making us care about not only what happens to him, but also how he reacts, and does so without subjecting us to two hours of lumbering scenes of Superman brooding. Returns picks up where Superman 2 left off, refusing to acknowledge the hokum that took place in the third and fourth films, and Singer takes great pains to modernize the character while maintaining the feel of the original films, along with an almost nostalgic tribute to the original comics from the forties, yielding a fun, flashy film that is romantically shot with warm colors and soft edges. And the underrated John Ottman score is pure beauty. ***1/2

Quick Thoughts - Dumbo (1941)

11/15/13: Like Snow White and a handful of other early Disney films, Dumbo is a beautifully animated, though incomplete film. Despite some heart-filled character development and a handful of funny cartoon gags in the early going, the second half plays much more sporadically, like a series of barely-related episodes that coalesce into something much less satisfying than the idea of a movie about a flying elephant promises, and leaves its themes of individuality and acceptance only half-realized. The penultimate sequence features Dumbo getting accidentally drunk with a mouse and going on a ten minute acid trip. It's gorgeous, but makes no sense and has no place in the film. Dumbo is interesting as a piece of film history, but by no means great. **

Quick Thoughts - Trouble with the Curve (2012)

11/14/13: Trouble with the Curve is a bad movie made by talented people. The drama is less predictable than it is routine, though both adjectives will suffice; its characters aren't exactly one-dimensional, but they certainly lack the necessary depth to make them, or the story around them, truly interesting; and far too many scenes feel as though they were crafted to put the characters in situations that set up a transparent metaphor which accentuates their emotional states, which would be fine if the characters didn't then vocalize the metaphor itself:

-"Come closer."
-"I'm keeping my distance."
-"You do that a lot."

Get it? Interactions like this permeate the film, over-clarifying what little complexity or cleverness there might have been. And still its cast is able to pull off much of this with enough conviction to make it watchable, even when the script has them using baseball terminology in dramatic context. So how did such a lousy script attract such a good group of actors? Clint Eastwood did it as a favor to director Robert Lorenz, his former assistant director, and then... Well, would you pass up a chance to act alongside Clint Eastwood? Yeah, me either. **

Quick Thoughts - Pacific Rim (2013)

11/13/13: Guillermo Del Toro's latest is essentially Independence Day with robots and sea monsters... And I mean that in a good way. Just about all large-scale effects showcases share a certain set of stock elements already, so should we really care if one shares a number of exact plot points with another? Perhaps it would be a negative if Pacific Rim didn't do so well what most of these films do so poorly, which is to create a universe in which these incredibly ridiculous events seem somewhat plausible; the most amazing thing about it is that the world of the film was as entertaining as the set-pieces themselves... The more I learned about this strange future, the more I wanted spin-off films dealing with various aspects of it. Generally, giant CGI blank versus giant CGI blank scenes are vapid and devoid of any real humanity, not to mention an entire film based on such a dynamic; after the prologue explaining that after alien monsters started destroying cities, man built huge robots to fight them, I thought I was in for a Power Rangers film and got nervous. But Del Toro's robots, manned by two pilots who must synchronize brains, lend an almost spiritual component that steers the film in interesting directions, focusing less on the CGI itself, which is crisp and beautiful, but more on the characters within it. ***1/2

Quick Thoughts - Wrong (2012)

11/13/13: It took me two sittings and a whole lot of will-power to make it through Wrong, Quentin Depieux's latest experimental offering. I was intrigued by his first film, Rubber, a send-up of the horror genre about a homicidal tire, but didn't have the heart to seek it out after hearing that it was unbearably pretentious. While I can't speak to that claim directly, I can say for sure that Wrong fits that description precisely. I have no doubt that Depieux could expound on what the film really means, or that some viewers, desperate to validate their experience spending ninety minutes watching it, could formulate some bullshit about how deep it is, but Wrong is about as shallow as it gets. Its absurdity comes off as jokes in search of a punch-line and its surrealism passes as nothing more than an attempt to cover up Depieux's lack of true imagination. I'm sure he'd argue that I just didn't get it, and to tell you the truth... I'm fine with that; given what's on the surface, I really don't care what's underneath. *

Quick Thoughts - Another Year (2010)

11/12/13: Mike Leigh is a master of writing brilliantly nuanced characters and pulling out truly raw performances from his actors. In this sense, Another Year is another notch in is belt, and Lesley Manville's broken, needy, alcoholic narcissist might be Leigh's greatest triumph as a writer/director. However, it's just about all the film has going for it as Leigh chronicles four dinners, separated by changing seasons, which Manville's character attends, invited or not. Seeing her through the eyes of her more mentally stable friends, a likable Jim Broadbent and Ruth Sheen, is interesting, and perhaps vital to her presentation, but the pair provide no real drama in the moments Manville is not around to stir things up and make the audience cringe, a chunk of time which is unfortunately too much to sit through waiting for something to happen. But still, a film by the great Mike Leigh, even half-cocked, is better than most. ***